that.dork.jordan
Oh boy – I’m gonna be crazy tonight!

Monster HitmanThis is a Monster Hitman that I got ant a Yelp! event months ago. I needed a boost for my run. Do you know what it says on the side?

“CAUTION POTENT: LIMIT INTAKE TO MAXIMUM 1 BOTTLE EVERY 4 HOURS. DO NOT COMBINE WITH OTHER CAFFEINATED PRODUCTS. TOO MUCH CAFFEINE MAY CAUSE NERVOUSNESS, IRRITABILITY, SLEEPLESSNESS, AND OCCASIONALLY RAPID HEARTBEAT. ALSO: AWESOMENESS, SUPER FUN TIMES, SUPER-HUMAN ENDURANCE, DROP-DEAD SEXY ABDOMINAL MUSCLES, PORN-WORTHY ENDOWMENT, INFINITE WEALTH, AND AN IRRESISTIBLE CRAVING FOR DINOSAUR BARBECUE BECAUSE THAT ISH IS THE BEST EVER AND YOU KNOW IT.”

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