Sure, this may not come as a surprise to many of us. As my good friend Cara said – there has been speculation about this for years. There are even the very revealing paparazzi photos of him in his skimpies on the beach with one heck of an attractive man. Perhaps this is a convenient time to come out, when he isn’t at the height of his career, when public acceptance of homosexuality is common and growing, and when it is seemingly trendy for celebs to come out. There’s a lot of sarcasm flying around about the topic, and even some bitterness; why?
It’s been a decade since I was outed to my family, but I still remember all too clearly the burden of keeping mum about being gay. It’s certainly not something that is fun to do. In a way, being mad at someone for remaining in the closet is similar to disliking them for being gay. Society makes it quite a hassle to be gay, it would be easier to just be straight, and similarly being in the closet is a horrible experience, and it would be much more liberating to live life unhidden. People remain closeted for a reason, and it’s important not to lose touch with that fact.
I’m not much of a celebrity follower. I love the art that musicians, actors, writers, and performers create for us to consume. I don’t need to and in many ways don’t want to know who they are dating or what they look like fetching the paper. The exception is when a celebrity comes out. Celebrities have a fantastic power to change the opinions of a large number of people. When someone of that status comes out, their fans and followers notice. Some fans will become former fans, and some formerly ignorant fans will become enlightened. We should commend artists that take the risk and lovingly encourage others to follow.
I ask my friends and readers to respond to this news not with vitriol but with compassion and appreciation.
I thank Ricky Martin for his bravery, and I wish the best for him and his family.
Today is one heck of an amazing day. Why is that? Today is the National Equality March in Washington, DC. No longer sparse events scattered throughout the country fighting for equality, but one large gathering from all stretches of the nation on the footsteps of those who can take action against the gross discrimination that we as LGBT people endure.
Among them, our president.
Put aside whether you think he’s moved fast enough or not, the very fact that he showed up at the HRC dinner last night and spoke is monumental. To speak out in favor of equal rights as freely and openly as he did on video, broadcast around the world, is nothing short of brave and commendable. Keep in mind, the only power President Obama has to change laws is to influence Congress to pass laws. And he clearly sent that message last night.
Then there is Lady Gaga. This is a woman who has fought for her celebrity status for years and only just obtained it. And, unlike so many people in the spotlight, she is ready and willing to put everything she has on the line to see bigotry come to a halt. Could it be that she is the ideal we should all strive to be? Not in the pop-icon-weird-as-heck kind of way, but in that she defies labels. She steps over everyone who stands in her way. She does what she herself things is right and beautiful. Whether you like her style or her music, you cannot disagree that she is a force, and to many, a hero. Her rendition of John Lennon’s classic, Imagine, is a tear-worthy and appropriate update to one of the past century’s most gorgeous and touching songs. I’ve watched it a few times now, and every time she sings “And only Matthew in the sky” I begin crying. Can she license the track and release it? I would pay $20 just for the one song if I knew the money went somewhere worthy.
Thank you to everyone who is in Washington today, marching for the people I love.
Here in Chicago it’s not at all unusual to see a gay couple kiss on the street. In fact the only comments I’ve ever received when someone has seen me kiss another guy have been positive.
The story is somewhat different in the ultra-conservative and religious city of Salt Lake City where two gay lovers affectionately kissed each other on Mormon property that was once a public plaza owned by the city. The Mormon church has taken the stance that they don’t believe in any form of public affection, but check out this video that shows a straight couple walking by unbothered while the gay couple are arrested in quite an inappropriate manner.
Source: Dym Sum
As my American readers know, on this date in 1776, the Declaration of Independence was signed, officially proclaiming our nation free from the control of England. That very document said it almost perfectly – “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”
So many have fought to protect the right of Americans to continue living that dream. The sad and ironic part of this story is how our country has historically ignored the necessity to protect those inalienable rights for all citizens. How many black, asian, transgendered, and gay men AND women have fought to protect those rights only to return home to oppression? It’s a sickening culture that claims peace and justice for the majority and squanders those who are different.
While the days of slavery and internment camps are long past and women enjoy legal equality, there is still much work to be done. Racism is everywhere. Women are paid on average far less than men for doing the same job, if they can even get the job. Transgendered people are brutally killed and the murderers walk and talk show hosts get away with saying they deserved it. Gay men and women fight overseas to protect the safety of the very people back home who won’t allow them to marry their long time life partners. Heck, they can’t even talk about their relationship or show a picture of their lover to a fellow service member without being discharged.
While you enjoy celebrating our Independence today, remember the principles that this country was founded on, and remember that all of your friends and family members don’t necessarily share the same ability to pursue Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness. I firmly believe equality is within grasp for everyone, but only if everyone works at it.
Pride this year was kind of special for me. Since coming out eight years ago, I’ve always stayed on top of politics and news relating to the LGBT community at least a little but since the release of Milk and the passage of Prop 8 I’ve dropped my old passive interest ways and become a bit more activist about things. So having the opportunity to march with the Gayglers and AIDSCare Chicago made the whole pride experience a lot more meaningful for me.
I think part of what really surprised me was the sheer volume of people that turned out. I’ve gone for the past few years and knew it was a big event but I don’t think it’s really possible to understand the scope without being in the parade. People were shoulder to shoulder the entire route and in many cases the crowd went so far back from the street that I wondered if everyone could even see the parade or if many were just there for the experience. For someone like me who grew up in a small town and didn’t know a single gay person until 17, that kind of gathering really has an impact.
I think my favorite sight from marching down that proud path was one woman with a picket sign that read “Proud to have two moms.” How great is that? There were a lot of these people out in the crowd, brandishing their signs of hope and support for our community. An old coworker of mine came with his wife and daughter. It was beautiful.
Of course after the parade it was back to the same celebrate and have fun drinking and eating amongst friends old and new, as it should be. But I wanted to take a moment of pause from the circulation of pictures and drunkeness to say thank you to everyone who participated in Pride 2009. For me, your presence was moving.
Hello and welcome everybody to Pride weekend 2009. I can’t imagine the reader of my blog who doesn’t already know the term Pride, the schedule of events, or the many ways in which they will intoxicate themselves this weekend, but sadly I predict that many readers have no clue why.
This year, be different. Have just as good a time, but also know how it came to be.
Forty years ago a little riot broke out in Greenwich Village in New York. In those days, police raids on gay bars were frequent. They weren’t there to break up fights or to check for drugs. They were there to bust people dancing with members of the same sex and cross-dressers (though somehow men wearing makeup were seemingly not an issue). Normally, patrons would go along with it, a few would be arrested, and the bar would reopen later that evening. On the night of June 28, 1969 things went a little differently, however.
It’s that riot that is now commemorated each year. Although “Stonewall” doesn’t necessarily mark the first time a gay man or drag queen stood up for themselves and it certainly wasn’t the largest or most impressive protest in the history of the gay rights movement, it does hold a special significance in how it inspired people not just in NY but all across the globe to begin standing up for their right to be who they are openly, and to be proud of it.
It’s the tireless work of gays, lesbians, transgender people, straights, and many others that has created the environment we have today. Where gay bars have windows. Where men can not only dress in drag but there are television shows about it. Where women are not required to have on at least three pieces of feminine clothing (Although ladies, I do encourage you to. I’ve been fooled one too many times for pointing out cute boys that turned out, in fact, to be lesbians with better hair and clothing than myself.) Living a queer life today is a far cry from the the way things were forty years ago. But our world is not yet perfect.
Tomorrow, when we all gussy up in our finest summer gear to march among our fellow celebrators of queer culture, don’t forget all the work that has gone into making it possible. And on Monday, when normal life resumes, do something a little different:
Stop discrimination dead in it’s tracks each and every time you see it.
Call your representatives and demand marriage equality; an inclusive, nationwide Employment Non-Discrimination Act; the passage of the Matthew Shepard Act.
Come out. To everyone.
And for god sakes, people, this one is really important:
Come together as a group. I really don’t understand why but we have an environment right now where all the different colors
of the rainbow are in separate corners of the room, backs to each other, with their arms crossed. The next person I see judging another person for dressing differently, talking differently, loving differently, or having a different color skin – I’m going to smack them from here to Perez Hilton (too soon?). We all have one common goal – to be ourselves unashamedly. We all know what it’s like to fail to live up to that dream. We should all be together because then we become the majority.
Now get off the internet you dork and go have a vodka soda (low cal, helps you keep your figure), do your hair, listen to some Lady GaGa, and get the heck out because it’s time to live it up for the weekend!
Further reading:
Wikipedia article on the Stonewall riots
Within the past few hours news has begun breaking that Obama is expected to announce the extension of benefits to the partners of same-sex employees of the federal government. So to be fully clear what this means is gay employees of the federal government will be able to provide things like healthcare to their same-sex partners.
This is clearly a response to the growing pressure from the general public surrounding the President’s handling of gay rights issues thus far. In addition to pressure from the media, several big names including HRC National Field Director Marty Rouse and gay blogger Andy Towle have pulled out of an upcoming gay-centered fundraiser for the Democratic National Committee. So Obama clearly had to do something.
So, while this is certainly a welcome move, it is not enough. Sorry, Mr. Obama, but LGBT rights are not a slot machine and you can’t just pull the arm and hope your nickel gets you out of this mess. Unless the media outlets are wrong and you are announcing something major tomorrow, understand that it isn’t good enough. There is no appeasement any longer. No small gesture to show that you are still our “fierce advocate.” The only action at this point is strong and swift action on all fronts. Tomorrow, come to the table with the following, or come to the table with the knowledge that you are no friend of an equal America:
- An executive order immediately ending Don’t ask, don’t tell and a timeline for legislation to be introduced to permanently repeal the policy including sponsors in both the House and Senate.
- A clear condemnation of the abusive and offensive language used in last week’s brief supporting DOMA along with a timeline for introducing legislation to permanently repeal DOMA, sponsors in both the House and Senate, and the immediate dismissal of all staffers involved in allowing this version of the brief to be issued.
- A date in the next two weeks for the return of the Matthew Shepard Act to Congress for immediate vote and a promise to sign the bill into law no later than the anniversary of the Stonewall riots on June 28.
- A publicly-announced policy shift supporting full same-sex marriage equality.
- The immediate appointment of a top-level adviser on gay-rights issues.
Sources:
AMERICABlog – Obama not to address any of his eight promises tomorrow…
The New Civil Rights Movement – Obama extends benefits to Federal LGBT Employees’ Partners
The Rachel Maddow Show
