that.dork.jordan » Jokes http://www.thatdorkjordan.com The daily life of a dork in Chicago. Mon, 02 May 2011 14:03:43 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1 You make me s… DINOSAURRRRRR http://www.thatdorkjordan.com/2009/10/19/you-make-me-s%e2%80%a6-dinosaurrrrrr/ http://www.thatdorkjordan.com/2009/10/19/you-make-me-s%e2%80%a6-dinosaurrrrrr/#comments Mon, 19 Oct 2009 22:57:35 +0000 Jordan http://www.thatdorkjordan.com/?p=801 I seriously love xkcd :)
I mean, seriously, NOWHERE? For starters, there are like a thousand species of dinosaur.

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]]> http://www.thatdorkjordan.com/2009/10/19/you-make-me-s%e2%80%a6-dinosaurrrrrr/feed/ 0 How to eat sushi *properly* http://www.thatdorkjordan.com/2009/09/24/how-to-eat-sushi-properly/ http://www.thatdorkjordan.com/2009/09/24/how-to-eat-sushi-properly/#comments Thu, 24 Sep 2009 18:11:03 +0000 Jordan http://www.thatdorkjordan.com/?p=735 Right here, folks, is everything you ever needed to know about eating sushi:

“Mah mah mah mah” “Oh toh toh toh”

www.youtube.com/watch?v=0b75cl4-qRE

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]]> http://www.thatdorkjordan.com/2009/09/24/how-to-eat-sushi-properly/feed/ 0 Notes from this evening http://www.thatdorkjordan.com/2009/07/24/notes-from-this-evening/ http://www.thatdorkjordan.com/2009/07/24/notes-from-this-evening/#comments Fri, 24 Jul 2009 07:06:11 +0000 Jordan http://www.thatdorkjordan.com/?p=654 Picture 101) I’m buzzied

2) What did you draw on that? A rabbit with a boner!?

3) Your hair is quite nice / I bet you spent lots of time / Applying shellac

4) “cum on my face”

5) I was told twice to get a hearing aid. WHAT!? (no, really, I couldn’t hear you)

6) William doesn’t need a hearing aid, he needs a listening aid.

7) Holley got rid of her syphilis with some penicillin but not before a good anal swab.

8 ) I had plans tonight, tomorrow, Saturday, and Sunday. Had being past tense (feel free to not correct me) – none of them came to fruition.

9) I want to learn the dance to Jai Ho.

10) I originally typo-ed “Jai Ho” as Jai HO. Pussycat doll win.

11) Sore, wet, hot, bald, free PUSSY.

12) It really was the most awkwardly crooked set of titties ever.

Goodnight folks.

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]]> http://www.thatdorkjordan.com/2009/07/24/notes-from-this-evening/feed/ 1 You wanna piece of da BOOV!? http://www.thatdorkjordan.com/2009/07/23/you-wanna-piece-of-da-boov/ http://www.thatdorkjordan.com/2009/07/23/you-wanna-piece-of-da-boov/#comments Fri, 24 Jul 2009 00:39:49 +0000 Jordan http://www.thatdorkjordan.com/?p=647 Booyuh

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]]> http://www.thatdorkjordan.com/2009/07/23/you-wanna-piece-of-da-boov/feed/ 1 Scar from The Lion King is a Sweet Trensvestite http://www.thatdorkjordan.com/2009/07/16/scar-from-the-lion-king-is-a-sweet-trensvestite/ http://www.thatdorkjordan.com/2009/07/16/scar-from-the-lion-king-is-a-sweet-trensvestite/#comments Thu, 16 Jul 2009 22:13:24 +0000 Jordan http://www.thatdorkjordan.com/?p=634 This lies somewhere in that wicked realm between ridiculous hilariousness and downright creepy. Thanks for sending it to me, Evan!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XV_7m2a7W0

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]]> http://www.thatdorkjordan.com/2009/07/16/scar-from-the-lion-king-is-a-sweet-trensvestite/feed/ 1 Air Supply’s literal video http://www.thatdorkjordan.com/2009/07/02/air-supplys-literal-video/ http://www.thatdorkjordan.com/2009/07/02/air-supplys-literal-video/#comments Thu, 02 Jul 2009 18:04:34 +0000 Jordan http://www.thatdorkjordan.com/?p=609 My Mom is a huge fan of Air Supply so I grew up with their songs in the background, and to tell you the truth, I do like them. Admittedly, this video deserved the literalization :) Thanks to @redeyechicago‘s 80′s Lunch for the tip.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GlJbyMrytA

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]]> http://www.thatdorkjordan.com/2009/07/02/air-supplys-literal-video/feed/ 0 Rob O’Reilly on STDs http://www.thatdorkjordan.com/2009/06/30/rob-oreilly-on-stds/ http://www.thatdorkjordan.com/2009/06/30/rob-oreilly-on-stds/#comments Tue, 30 Jun 2009 22:04:09 +0000 Jordan http://www.thatdorkjordan.com/?p=600 Oh, chlamydia.

Shameless plug: Seriously folks, make sure you get tested regularly. Find out more about STDs and how to get tested at http://www.stdtestexpress.com.

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]]> http://www.thatdorkjordan.com/2009/06/30/rob-oreilly-on-stds/feed/ 0 A little Alice in Wonderland / Carol Channing craziness to mix up your Monday: http://www.thatdorkjordan.com/2009/06/22/a-little-alice-in-wonderland-carol-channing-craziness-to-mix-up-your-monday/ http://www.thatdorkjordan.com/2009/06/22/a-little-alice-in-wonderland-carol-channing-craziness-to-mix-up-your-monday/#comments Mon, 22 Jun 2009 20:53:54 +0000 Jordan http://www.thatdorkjordan.com/?p=588

www.youtube.com/watch?v=DrjIVhIeGnw

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]]> http://www.thatdorkjordan.com/2009/06/22/a-little-alice-in-wonderland-carol-channing-craziness-to-mix-up-your-monday/feed/ 3 Oh boy – I’m gonna be crazy tonight! http://www.thatdorkjordan.com/2009/06/19/oh-boy-im-gonna-be-crazy-tonight/ http://www.thatdorkjordan.com/2009/06/19/oh-boy-im-gonna-be-crazy-tonight/#comments Sat, 20 Jun 2009 02:30:31 +0000 Jordan http://www.thatdorkjordan.com/?p=585 Monster HitmanThis is a Monster Hitman that I got ant a Yelp! event months ago. I needed a boost for my run. Do you know what it says on the side?

“CAUTION POTENT: LIMIT INTAKE TO MAXIMUM 1 BOTTLE EVERY 4 HOURS. DO NOT COMBINE WITH OTHER CAFFEINATED PRODUCTS. TOO MUCH CAFFEINE MAY CAUSE NERVOUSNESS, IRRITABILITY, SLEEPLESSNESS, AND OCCASIONALLY RAPID HEARTBEAT. ALSO: AWESOMENESS, SUPER FUN TIMES, SUPER-HUMAN ENDURANCE, DROP-DEAD SEXY ABDOMINAL MUSCLES, PORN-WORTHY ENDOWMENT, INFINITE WEALTH, AND AN IRRESISTIBLE CRAVING FOR DINOSAUR BARBECUE BECAUSE THAT ISH IS THE BEST EVER AND YOU KNOW IT.”

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]]> http://www.thatdorkjordan.com/2009/06/19/oh-boy-im-gonna-be-crazy-tonight/feed/ 0 What. The. Eff. http://www.thatdorkjordan.com/2009/06/14/what-the-eff/ http://www.thatdorkjordan.com/2009/06/14/what-the-eff/#comments Sun, 14 Jun 2009 23:25:14 +0000 Jordan http://www.thatdorkjordan.com/?p=539

www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4KRQHvGUb0


(Via Chicagoist)

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