But why did I just take a shower when I know I’m going out running? Oh well!
I made my hair all crazy for Kylie 
It was like… straight up in the air.
1) I’m buzzied
2) What did you draw on that? A rabbit with a boner!?
3) Your hair is quite nice / I bet you spent lots of time / Applying shellac
4) “cum on my face”
5) I was told twice to get a hearing aid. WHAT!? (no, really, I couldn’t hear you)
6) William doesn’t need a hearing aid, he needs a listening aid.
7) Holley got rid of her syphilis with some penicillin but not before a good anal swab.
8 ) I had plans tonight, tomorrow, Saturday, and Sunday. Had being past tense (feel free to not correct me) – none of them came to fruition.
9) I want to learn the dance to Jai Ho.
10) I originally typo-ed “Jai Ho” as Jai HO. Pussycat doll win.
11) Sore, wet, hot, bald, free PUSSY.
12) It really was the most awkwardly crooked set of titties ever.
Goodnight folks.
This is a Monster Hitman that I got ant a Yelp! event months ago. I needed a boost for my run. Do you know what it says on the side?
“CAUTION POTENT: LIMIT INTAKE TO MAXIMUM 1 BOTTLE EVERY 4 HOURS. DO NOT COMBINE WITH OTHER CAFFEINATED PRODUCTS. TOO MUCH CAFFEINE MAY CAUSE NERVOUSNESS, IRRITABILITY, SLEEPLESSNESS, AND OCCASIONALLY RAPID HEARTBEAT. ALSO: AWESOMENESS, SUPER FUN TIMES, SUPER-HUMAN ENDURANCE, DROP-DEAD SEXY ABDOMINAL MUSCLES, PORN-WORTHY ENDOWMENT, INFINITE WEALTH, AND AN IRRESISTIBLE CRAVING FOR DINOSAUR BARBECUE BECAUSE THAT ISH IS THE BEST EVER AND YOU KNOW IT.”
OMG I’m finally seeing it! It was the musical that made me love musicals and I still haven’t seen it but that will all change on April 8!!!
