1) I’m buzzied

2) What did you draw on that? A rabbit with a boner!?

3) Your hair is quite nice / I bet you spent lots of time / Applying shellac

4) “cum on my face”

5) I was told twice to get a hearing aid. WHAT!? (no, really, I couldn’t hear you)

6) William doesn’t need a hearing aid, he needs a listening aid.

7) Holley got rid of her syphilis with some penicillin but not before a good anal swab.

8 ) I had plans tonight, tomorrow, Saturday, and Sunday. Had being past tense (feel free to not correct me) – none of them came to fruition.

9) I want to learn the dance to Jai Ho.

10) I originally typo-ed “Jai Ho” as Jai HO. Pussycat doll win.

11) Sore, wet, hot, bald, free PUSSY.

12) It really was the most awkwardly crooked set of titties ever.

Goodnight folks.