I understand why young people are killing themselves.
When you are gay, who do you have to turn to?
No matter how supportive my family is and how many close friends I make, I still feel a constant loss and I still harbor incredible amounts of anger. Although I’ve surrounded myself with people who love me, I am still surrounded by the constant din of hateful rhetoric. Whether directed at me, or just mindlessly spouted into the collective, it hurts.
And who out there is watching out for me? I’m not asking who can I call that will tell me they love me or who can I go hug and share my anger with. I’m asking who, in a position of power, is watching out for me? Our “fierce advocate” Obama? Nope. His administration’s clear ambivalence to our plight and lack of action are evidence that his campaigning was little more than hollow, lifeless, careless promises. In my eyes the biggest policy decisions he has made about LGBT people is to defend the Defense of Marriage Act and Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, the two harshest laws discriminating against us. Fair weather fan, I guess.
What about other elected representatives? Well considering Congress won’t even vote yes to debate something as simple and widely favored as Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, I guess I can’t turn to anyone there.
Perhaps I can count on the media. After all, it is the media’s responsibility to investigate and report. They’re the unwritten part of the system of checks and balances. When all branches of our government go haywire, we can count on reporters to set the record straight. Then, on Coming Out day, Washington Post publishes a vitriolic (and completely false) mess of hate speech. My face is still bruised from that slap.
Unfortunately I can’t turn to the country as a whole. Those are the people I need the government to protect me from.
We can tell clearly from NY Gubernatorial candidate Carl Paladino that everyone is willing to reap the benefits of LGBT people, and nobody in the upper echelons is willing to stick their neck out for us. Despite leasing his properties to two gay bars in the past, one run by his son, he campaigned saying “I don’t want them [children] to be brainwashed into thinking that homosexuality is an equally valid and successful option.”
So when every day you are faced with wondering whether mentioning a bar you were at, or a song you were listening to, or the clothes you are wearing, or the name of someone you went on a date with will end in ridicule, or worse, violence, what would you do?
Well I get really angry and write about it. I know I’m preaching to the choir but it makes me feel a little better. Not everyone is that strong though. For some people, when faced with this level of discrimination, and given seemingly no way out, death seems like a better option. It’s not, but I can see where it might look that way.
The good news is there are places for gay people to go and be safe. If I wanted to get rid of this stress and hurt, I could just stop paying attention to the news and shuffle around some of who I follow on Twitter. Escape isn’t that far away and maybe that’s why I can handle it. I also know that within my lifetime the majority of these silly laws will probably be gone, and while gay people may not be seen as equals by all, it will be a heck of a lot easier.
I just wish everyone would see that while I’m different, I’m not different. The difference between gay and straight is no greater than the difference between brown and blond. And I wish that people realized that changing our laws to recognize that fact is no less urgent than ending our war in Iraq or balancing the budget or finding a cure for cancer.
There is an unspoken epidemic in this country. It’s not people being gay. It’s people who are gay who are depressed and angry and who have no remedy but to sit and wait while those in power decide when the appropriate time is to say “now you are equal.”
Today is one heck of an amazing day. Why is that? Today is the National Equality March in Washington, DC. No longer sparse events scattered throughout the country fighting for equality, but one large gathering from all stretches of the nation on the footsteps of those who can take action against the gross discrimination that we as LGBT people endure.
Among them, our president.
Put aside whether you think he’s moved fast enough or not, the very fact that he showed up at the HRC dinner last night and spoke is monumental. To speak out in favor of equal rights as freely and openly as he did on video, broadcast around the world, is nothing short of brave and commendable. Keep in mind, the only power President Obama has to change laws is to influence Congress to pass laws. And he clearly sent that message last night.
Then there is Lady Gaga. This is a woman who has fought for her celebrity status for years and only just obtained it. And, unlike so many people in the spotlight, she is ready and willing to put everything she has on the line to see bigotry come to a halt. Could it be that she is the ideal we should all strive to be? Not in the pop-icon-weird-as-heck kind of way, but in that she defies labels. She steps over everyone who stands in her way. She does what she herself things is right and beautiful. Whether you like her style or her music, you cannot disagree that she is a force, and to many, a hero. Her rendition of John Lennon’s classic, Imagine, is a tear-worthy and appropriate update to one of the past century’s most gorgeous and touching songs. I’ve watched it a few times now, and every time she sings “And only Matthew in the sky” I begin crying. Can she license the track and release it? I would pay $20 just for the one song if I knew the money went somewhere worthy.
Thank you to everyone who is in Washington today, marching for the people I love.
Within the past few hours news has begun breaking that Obama is expected to announce the extension of benefits to the partners of same-sex employees of the federal government. So to be fully clear what this means is gay employees of the federal government will be able to provide things like healthcare to their same-sex partners.
This is clearly a response to the growing pressure from the general public surrounding the President’s handling of gay rights issues thus far. In addition to pressure from the media, several big names including HRC National Field Director Marty Rouse and gay blogger Andy Towle have pulled out of an upcoming gay-centered fundraiser for the Democratic National Committee. So Obama clearly had to do something.
So, while this is certainly a welcome move, it is not enough. Sorry, Mr. Obama, but LGBT rights are not a slot machine and you can’t just pull the arm and hope your nickel gets you out of this mess. Unless the media outlets are wrong and you are announcing something major tomorrow, understand that it isn’t good enough. There is no appeasement any longer. No small gesture to show that you are still our “fierce advocate.” The only action at this point is strong and swift action on all fronts. Tomorrow, come to the table with the following, or come to the table with the knowledge that you are no friend of an equal America:
- An executive order immediately ending Don’t ask, don’t tell and a timeline for legislation to be introduced to permanently repeal the policy including sponsors in both the House and Senate.
- A clear condemnation of the abusive and offensive language used in last week’s brief supporting DOMA along with a timeline for introducing legislation to permanently repeal DOMA, sponsors in both the House and Senate, and the immediate dismissal of all staffers involved in allowing this version of the brief to be issued.
- A date in the next two weeks for the return of the Matthew Shepard Act to Congress for immediate vote and a promise to sign the bill into law no later than the anniversary of the Stonewall riots on June 28.
- A publicly-announced policy shift supporting full same-sex marriage equality.
- The immediate appointment of a top-level adviser on gay-rights issues.
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Sources:
AMERICABlog – Obama not to address any of his eight promises tomorrow…
The New Civil Rights Movement – Obama extends benefits to Federal LGBT Employees’ Partners
The Rachel Maddow Show
UPDATE: The Rachel Maddow video clip has been fixed and a few new articles and tweets have been added since mid-day.
I feel as though I’m constantly re-tweeting and posting to Facebook a wealth of articles about the (snail-paced) advancement of gay rights issues. I’m now going to post a collection of each days articles, video clips, editorials, and quotes in a post called the Equality Roundup (name is open to more creative suggestions).
- The New York Times has published yet another strong editorial in support of gay rights -- this time the going after the Obama administration for their harshly worded and completely unnecessary brief issued last week in support of the Defense of (bigoted) Marriage Act. In the brief, the Obama-appointed Justice Department compares same-sex marriage to incest and marriage between children and adults.
[ View the full editorial here. ] - Rachel Maddow, the only-slightly-sarcastic-but-incredibly-witty MSNBC host brought former Governor of Vermont Howard Dean to discuss the president’s stance on gay rights. During the interview Dean calls Do(b)MA unconstitutional and says that it was a mistake of the Obama administration to issue the legal brief. He also suggests that the administration might now have to move Don’t Ask Don’t Tell to the front of their agenda in order to make up for their blunder.
- glaadBLOG posted their commentary on June 9th’s “The 700 Club” in which Pat Robertson advises the mother of a gay child to tell her son that being gay is “an abomination before God” and goes on to say that “if somebody’s on the way to hell you’ve got to love them to rescue them.” He also insists that gay people are not born that way but rather “made homosexuals” through abuse.
[ View the full story and video. ]
 - Tonight PBS airs the documentary “ASK NOT” -- “ASK NOT explores the history of the infamous “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy and reveals the personal stories of gay Americans willing to risk their lives for a country that criminalizes the act of coming out.” If you are in Chicago it airs on Channel 11 and 11.1 at 10pm and 3:30am as well as channel 11.2 at 4pm.
[ More information and showtimes here. ]
 - Cleve Jones responded to concerns about the upcoming March on Washington over at The Bilerco Project. He covered ten reasons why such a march would be a success for gay rights. The gist of his argument is that this march is supposed to help ignite a larger movement nationwide.Â
[ Full post available at The Bilerco Project. ]
 - Multiple bloggers and twitter users posted links to a very simple page -- “Obama’s Plan for Gay Rights.”
[ Obama's full plan available here. ]
 - And finally -- some tweets:
@ntinaz RT @DCBadger: As much as I love the DNC email from POTUS re: Health Care, where’s email re: LGBTQ rights? #p2
@ntinaz RT @jtbritto RT @hobronto: http://www.obamasplanforgayrights.com/
@perezhilton Join us this October! RT @NtlEqMarch 10 Reasons to March, by Cleve Jones http://is.gd/13Atk
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It was the Reverend Dr. Joseph Lowery whose speech struck a chord that every American can identify with. He described the path our nation must take -- one of inclusiveness and love, and he delivered it with character and heartfelt humor. This is the man who should have delivered the invocation. A man whose religious roots are familiar for conservative Americans and whose open love and willingness to fight for the rights of every minority is strongly understood by the most liberal members of this nation. He is a man who stands for cohesion of our country at a time when we need it most. It is possible to appeal to both left and right, to compromise without compromising integrity and to reach out to the other side of the debate without sacrificing your own position. Below, Reverend Dr. Joseph Lowery’s benediction and some of my favorite quotes from it. Feel free to offer your comments and favorite lines in the comments.
“to turn to each other and not on each other … help us to make choices on the side of love not hate, on the side of inclusion not exclusion, tolerance not intolerance.”
“say amen, say amen, and amen”
I think I like Lady GaGa’s bow better…
