I understand why young people are killing themselves.
When you are gay, who do you have to turn to?
No matter how supportive my family is and how many close friends I make, I still feel a constant loss and I still harbor incredible amounts of anger. Although I’ve surrounded myself with people who love me, I am still surrounded by the constant din of hateful rhetoric. Whether directed at me, or just mindlessly spouted into the collective, it hurts.
And who out there is watching out for me? I’m not asking who can I call that will tell me they love me or who can I go hug and share my anger with. I’m asking who, in a position of power, is watching out for me? Our “fierce advocate” Obama? Nope. His administration’s clear ambivalence to our plight and lack of action are evidence that his campaigning was little more than hollow, lifeless, careless promises. In my eyes the biggest policy decisions he has made about LGBT people is to defend the Defense of Marriage Act and Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, the two harshest laws discriminating against us. Fair weather fan, I guess.
What about other elected representatives? Well considering Congress won’t even vote yes to debate something as simple and widely favored as Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, I guess I can’t turn to anyone there.
Perhaps I can count on the media. After all, it is the media’s responsibility to investigate and report. They’re the unwritten part of the system of checks and balances. When all branches of our government go haywire, we can count on reporters to set the record straight. Then, on Coming Out day, Washington Post publishes a vitriolic (and completely false) mess of hate speech. My face is still bruised from that slap.
Unfortunately I can’t turn to the country as a whole. Those are the people I need the government to protect me from.
We can tell clearly from NY Gubernatorial candidate Carl Paladino that everyone is willing to reap the benefits of LGBT people, and nobody in the upper echelons is willing to stick their neck out for us. Despite leasing his properties to two gay bars in the past, one run by his son, he campaigned saying “I don’t want them [children] to be brainwashed into thinking that homosexuality is an equally valid and successful option.”
So when every day you are faced with wondering whether mentioning a bar you were at, or a song you were listening to, or the clothes you are wearing, or the name of someone you went on a date with will end in ridicule, or worse, violence, what would you do?
Well I get really angry and write about it. I know I’m preaching to the choir but it makes me feel a little better. Not everyone is that strong though. For some people, when faced with this level of discrimination, and given seemingly no way out, death seems like a better option. It’s not, but I can see where it might look that way.
The good news is there are places for gay people to go and be safe. If I wanted to get rid of this stress and hurt, I could just stop paying attention to the news and shuffle around some of who I follow on Twitter. Escape isn’t that far away and maybe that’s why I can handle it. I also know that within my lifetime the majority of these silly laws will probably be gone, and while gay people may not be seen as equals by all, it will be a heck of a lot easier.
I just wish everyone would see that while I’m different, I’m not different. The difference between gay and straight is no greater than the difference between brown and blond. And I wish that people realized that changing our laws to recognize that fact is no less urgent than ending our war in Iraq or balancing the budget or finding a cure for cancer.
There is an unspoken epidemic in this country. It’s not people being gay. It’s people who are gay who are depressed and angry and who have no remedy but to sit and wait while those in power decide when the appropriate time is to say “now you are equal.”
Let’s face it, after using a public restroom, you probably want to wash your hands. That is – unless you are one of the gross people who don’t. It’s the people who don’t that cause todays topic – How to use a public restroom properly.
You might not thing that this is something that people need more education on, but you are wrong. Public restrooms are, perhaps, some of the most annoying places on earth. I aim (pun!) to enlighten at least a few people in my new quest to make it a little less… nasty.
- Upon entering the bathroom, find a stall that is not immediately next to one that is occupied, if at all possible. If there are 10 urinals, for example, why are you peeing right next to me? Actually, I know the answer to that question so please don’t answer it. This goes for the sit downs too. I don’t need to hear your poop. Thanks.
- Don’t talk to me! Save the chatter for outside the restroom. Unless there is toilet paper stuck to my shoe, please remain quiet.
- Wash your hands – with soap! I seriously don’t know what planet people come from where they teach their kids to slop up their hands and then get it wet but if you aren’t using soap you may as well just skip the whole process. The exception here is if there is nothing to dry your hands on…
- Dry your hands! What’s more gross than grabbing the handle on the bathroom door to find it wet with some strangers ghost? NOTHING!
Finally, what inspired this whole rant is a rather curious practice. Most bathrooms have one of these:
They’re wonderful, but what do you do when you get to the door? You just cleaned up and now you have to touch a potentially very nasty door. Oh, look how handy, they’ve placed a bin right next to the door so you can open the door with a piece of paper towel and then toss it out! Except they usually look like this:
Well what the hell is the point of that? Trading one dirty touch for another? BAH.
BONUS!
Cottonelle’s survey of America found that over is by far the preferred way to roll your toilet paper! Finally, something that makes sense 
For all the reasons why over is the right way, check out Current Config.
So now that I’ve vented and shared all of my bathroom pet peeves with you, share yours in the comments!
Maybe if I give my cats a massage they’ll stop jumping on the counters… what do you think? MEOW!
Did you know that 13% of human deaths are caused by cancer?
How about the fact that some 200 million people in Africa are malnourished?
And get this… 18 people were murdered in Chicago in the one-week period between June 29 and July 6.
Why is it then that there is a website devoted to stopping Willis Group from renaming the Sears Tower? This is almost as mind-boggling as the people who have picketed Macy’s for renaming Marshall Field’s. Folks – it’s a building. A well-known, iconic building, sure, but still just a building. There are bigger fish to fry here.
If you want to stay local, how about picketing City Hall for allowing that LAZ Parking takeover of Chicago’s parking meter system to go through. Or actually making some noise about the large number of other corrupt actions our government has taken. You could sign a petition or call your senator and encourage them to pass the Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Protection Act, otherwise known as the Matthew Shepard Act, without any amendments. There are so many worthy causes that would make a real difference.
But people are taking action to stop a deal that has brought a large tenant to a very vacant Chicago landmark because it involves changing the name. Personally, I’m ready and willing to sacrifice the sign outside the Sears/Willis Tower in exchange for a business deal that will help boost our local economy.
Within the past few hours news has begun breaking that Obama is expected to announce the extension of benefits to the partners of same-sex employees of the federal government. So to be fully clear what this means is gay employees of the federal government will be able to provide things like healthcare to their same-sex partners.
This is clearly a response to the growing pressure from the general public surrounding the President’s handling of gay rights issues thus far. In addition to pressure from the media, several big names including HRC National Field Director Marty Rouse and gay blogger Andy Towle have pulled out of an upcoming gay-centered fundraiser for the Democratic National Committee. So Obama clearly had to do something.
So, while this is certainly a welcome move, it is not enough. Sorry, Mr. Obama, but LGBT rights are not a slot machine and you can’t just pull the arm and hope your nickel gets you out of this mess. Unless the media outlets are wrong and you are announcing something major tomorrow, understand that it isn’t good enough. There is no appeasement any longer. No small gesture to show that you are still our “fierce advocate.” The only action at this point is strong and swift action on all fronts. Tomorrow, come to the table with the following, or come to the table with the knowledge that you are no friend of an equal America:
- An executive order immediately ending Don’t ask, don’t tell and a timeline for legislation to be introduced to permanently repeal the policy including sponsors in both the House and Senate.
- A clear condemnation of the abusive and offensive language used in last week’s brief supporting DOMA along with a timeline for introducing legislation to permanently repeal DOMA, sponsors in both the House and Senate, and the immediate dismissal of all staffers involved in allowing this version of the brief to be issued.
- A date in the next two weeks for the return of the Matthew Shepard Act to Congress for immediate vote and a promise to sign the bill into law no later than the anniversary of the Stonewall riots on June 28.
- A publicly-announced policy shift supporting full same-sex marriage equality.
- The immediate appointment of a top-level adviser on gay-rights issues.
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Sources:
AMERICABlog – Obama not to address any of his eight promises tomorrow…
The New Civil Rights Movement – Obama extends benefits to Federal LGBT Employees’ Partners
The Rachel Maddow Show
(Via Chicagoist)